The hare and the tortoise

Been a bit slack on the home readers lately. This morning I ignored the mess and made some time for my little man. What an appropriate story to be reading today "the hare and the tortoise". I'm still trying to work out whether I've been a  hare or tortoise with this never ending PhD. Definitely the tortoise when it comes to pace- plodding along continuously and slowly. It feels like I must of taken a huge rest like the hare but truly that is not the case. Each week something progressed on the PhD, maybe not as quick as I would of preferred.  The finish line is getting closer. I had a minor melt down the other day thinking it will never end and that I could not spend another day on it. I'm hoping it's like the transition phase with birth. Just when its all too much its time for the little head to pop out. Fingers crossed. I wrote the conclusion last week. Geez that felt good!!!!!!!!!

Failure

Alas it's official, I've failed to complete my thesis before my candidature ran out. It appears to not be possible to finish a PhD whilst raising three kids, remaining married, birthing a child and moving interstate. Tomorrow my PhD is due- whoops. I still need to finish a paper and the discussion - there is no way I can hand it in.

Tears ran down my face today at the school assembly. I tried really hard to not let anyone realise I was crying. It dawned on me that what I was experiencing at school was worth the wait. My eldest son (10yr old) played the piano at the start of the assembly. I was so proud of him. He volunteered to do it and he played beautifully. He is no Mozart but the Boogie jazz piece he played off by heart made me proud. I wish I had the confidence like him to just give it a go. I watched the kids dance and sing, entertaining all the proud parents in attendance. I was so happy to have the opportunity to see them. It's been lovely watching the kids grow over the past 7.5 years. Just last week the kids dressed up for bookweek. I took an hour away from study to watch the parade. An hour well spent : ) Being a part of the kids life was the type of parent I wanted to be. I can accept an unfinished PhD knowing I managed to be there for most of the little moments such as assembly today.

I'm sure the tears were provoked by my knowledge of the eminent failure. At the assembly I felt anything but a failure. I felt like a proud mother of three gorgeous boys. Ok I failed to finish my PhD before my candidature ran out. Life and family is worth this slight failure. Luckily I have one years extension on my candidature so I'll still finish the PhD monster. Stay tuned- its getting close!

Sanity with three boys

There is a simple way to stay sane with three boys before the school bus whisks them away for the day.
Don't stress the little details
Our socks tend to not match and the toys aren't put away. This means handball can be enjoyed outside by all. I did draw the line at the geopicks being swung around. Geopicks in the front yard are a by-product of having a geologist for a dad. Hospital trips before school is not a good look with a pick in the head. Yesterday it was a clay ball in the ear that caused Liam to miss the school bus. Nothing a bit of ice couldn't fix. Today was sane, yesterday maybe not so. That's life with three boys. I spent yesterday trying to make my data normal using logarithmic equations in "R".  Today it's on to randomForest. I keep picturing beautiful rainforests but alas its data crunching and computer programming.

Anything is better than working on my PhD

Ahhhh the washing needs hanging out, a paper needs reviewing, an honours student needs a meeting. Anything is better than working on my own PhD. An ex PhD student passed on a gem of advice the other day. By the end of his PhD he hated it sooooo much that he realised everyday spent procrastinating was one more day he'd have to wait until the PhD torment was over. I kinda got what he meant. Time to end the torment. However the latest PhD avoidance trip to Port Macquarie was well worth the time. Three lucky boys wagging school standing on a turbidite. Another four days of PhD torment is worth a trip away with the kids. Now that I'm sitting here having lost four days the PhD hatred is creeping back. On with a life of regression analysis.

Slow cook chook

I am starving. In an attempt to be organised and not waste food I popped on a slow cook chicken curry this morning so I can focus on my study all day long. It’s killing me. I’m sitting at my desk attempting to work on non-parametric correlations with the beautiful aroma of curry wafting around. Eating an apple to satisfy the hunger just does not do it. My only option is to escape home. Maybe I’ll go into the uni gym for a lunch break then reside at the library until quitting time. Dinner is going to be sooooo good!

Try this dinner out. Tip in a tin of diced tomatoes, add ¼ cup of madras curry paste, 1 cup of chicken stock, 1 diced onion. Give it a quick stir. Hack apart a chook or buy chicken pieces, throw them in the slow cooker, neglect for the day then come home to a superb smell and an awesome dinner. I cook it on low for how ever long the day takes (eg 10hrs). Less time is fine if you have the pleasure of sleeping in each morning. Throw some freshly chopped coriander over the meal when you serve it with rice.  Enjoy!   

ps Chook is Aussie for Chicken

Friday morning

I love a friday morning, even in the rain. Alex (the dog) and I head off to the beach for a morning walk. Alex has been part of our family for over a year now. We collected him from the pound when he was just over one in age. His first visit to the beach was an experience. The sand was strange to him and the sea was scary. Obviously he had not been taken to the beach before. Now he runs like mad, chasing the sea gulls in eternal hope he may catch one. So far the sea gulls are winning and Alex is staying fit. We had the beach entirely to ourselves today. The sea was wild and the rain mild. Beach dune erosion was making those great walls that kids adore jumping off.

Friday morning is market morning at home. I go each week to buy our vegies off the local growers. I love knowing where our food comes from and who grew it. The farmers share stories about their farm such as the green houses being destroyed in the recent winds and the trick of actually feeding the vegies nutrients to make them so superb. My home grown vegies never look as good as theirs.

I walk back into the home at 8am all relaxed having seen the sea, chatted to the food providers and breathed fresh air only to be greeted by the school morning crazies. It took no time to start bellowing stop fighting over the footy cards or I'm throwing them in the bin!, have you brushed your teeth, go make your bed, where is your homework folder... Then the bus arrives, it takes the little monkeys away then its just Alex and I. Alex sits by my side as I try to muster up the motivation to sit at this computer and work on the PhD. Luckily the house is such a mess from the morning chaos I give my self an hour to feed the chooks, have brekky, clean the kitchen, pop on the clothes washing, bring in a load, have a tea and check the emails/facebook/blogs.

Alex is now fast asleep, its time to study, no more procrastination excuses (except maybe hang the washing on the line).

On My Mind: A Friday home photo initiative of Down To Earth.  Check it out.

School holidays

Holidays are here. Last day of school for over two weeks. Hmmm what to do with the lion cubs. So far there is a sports camp for a day, soccer camp for three mornings, local production of Peter Pan, some play dates, Bastille party with cousins. I reckon that's enough for two weeks. The big question is whether to squeeze in uni work, clean out the house cupboards or just play with the kids.  I'm facing some serious sorting of the clothes, time for the hand-me-downs to trickle down the line. I guess you can see one of my time saving methods. Clothes are not exactly folded very well.

We've been using the family fun day Sunday $2.50 all you can travel on public transport lately. Geez its great. Sunny days at Manly, aquariums and lego shows in Sydney, BBQ at Neutral Bay. Life is so much easier now the kids are getting older.

Messy cupboard photo is dedicated to Down to Earth On My Mind   a lovely idea to share our homes and lives. Am I too honest about the mess of boys?

PhD Survey and TED

For the past 12 months I've been participating in a survey about PhDs and how I felt about it. As part of the follow up survey they sent me a graph today that showed my survey response. The graph looks like this

The graph is about right for an average monthly view.  If you asked my hubby, who kindly listens each night about my studies, he might argue differently. Just like raising a child a PhD has so many highs and lows. Even on a daily, minute by minute  time-scale my feelings towards my studies alters. The graph really should look more like the one below. This graph has been inspired by the TED talk given by Rufus Griscom and Alisa Volkman on Let's talk parenting taboos. Any parent will understand the ups and downs, just like any third year PhD student. Should we really be talking more about it. Would you really tell someone how hard parenting is and expect them to try it. It's just the same as telling a potential PhD candidate that the PhD will leave you crying in the gutter. I like the truth but sometime ignorance is bliss allowing people to step outside their comfort zone.

Maybe I should combine both the parenting graph and my Phd graph. Hmmm scary concept, the graph would look like chaos.

Household Chores

Our 9 year old announced last night he wants to do more chores to earn more money. Wouldn't we all like more money hey! He has his eye on a 3D DS game console. Hmmm extravagent purchase really.  So of course I came up with all these useful things he could do to help. The decision was left in the air as they all sounded like too much work.

We chatted about it again this morning when my hubby got involved and nicely pointed out it would be good if Kai did something to help Mum around the home.  So I politely pointed out it is not "my house" it is our home and everyone should be contributing. We had a laugh, easier than fighting, and then tongue in check Sol suggested for Kai to help Dad out in the garden. Kai nicely replied "but Mum does the gardening too". Hmmm I think its time to rethink the domestic situation.

The boys get pocket money of $2 a week. This comes under the deal they unpack the dishwasher, make their beds, put their PJs away.  So of course this morning the PJs were all over the floor, beds not made and bionicles spread everywhere. Maybe its time to enforce the reason behind pocket money before we look at a pay rise.

It's time for a family meeting to discuss household chores. How do your families work it out? Is it a state of war or do you manage to negotiate it? Is someone the household dictator or does everyone notice and contribute to what needs to be done?

I find every six months the issue of who does the household chores in our home needs revisiting. 

Pressure

Today I bought a pressure cooker. I'm soooo excited. I remember my granny using one. Aldi had them for sale and it was just too good an opportunity to miss. The guide claims I can cook a risotto in 10 minutes. The question is will my hubby let me after our Townsville maggot infestation. The maggots came via the chicken risotto we made. He hasn't been the same ever since...

Food is a big issue in our house. Partly cause I LOVE food but also because it makes such a difference to our kids health and behaviour. Juggling the art of creating a healthy meal and studying is no easy feat. Actually tonight we had a gorgeous Guinness Beef Stew as I was keen to procrastinate rather than study.

I'm hoping just maybe the pressure cooker will save some time and create some gorgeous meals. I'm motivated to try.  

Last year I read the book by Juanita Phillips (2010) "A pressure cooker saved my life". Essential reading for all families.

If you know any good pressure cooking recipes let me know.

Exploring the earth with kids

I’m the product of a scientist mother. Mum taught me that housework can wait; exploring the world is much more fun. As a mum myself I’ve discovered housework can’t wait but let’s skip ironing in order to bend time and space. Mum was a trailing spouse but managed to carve out a career as a uni tutor, biology teacher and eventually a uni Lecturer in Horticulture. As a little person she took me to Macquarie uni where I loved the big bear and the atmosphere of the tutorial rooms. When I was an independent moody teenager she made herself scarce by lecturing at uni then coming home with stories of plants and science. She taught me that mothering and science can be combined.

Roll forward many years and now I take my three boys to Wollongong Uni. They adore the mineral collection in the Earth Science Department and imagine the Ninja Turtles using the crystals. Hubby and I take the kids on field trips such as Port Macquarie, Tamworth, Tasmania and Adelaide. In the future we plan to travel around Oz with the kids researching and promoting geodiversity. Kids make great scales for photos and useful images for conference presentations. We have learnt that conferences are more fun without the kids so we enjoy the mini all expenses paid holiday and leave them behind. I always miss them desperately and love coming home to their smiley faces.

Isaac and I on a freezing day in Adelaide collecting sediment samples for charcoal analysis. It was a family outing minus two brothers who were in childcare that day. 

The figure label in the journal is very different Figure 2 (A) The exposed profile of Wilson Bog following the erosion event in November 2005 showing the sharp contact between the lower siliciclastic gravels and sands and the upper peat unit.

Buckman S., Brownlie K., Bourman R.P., Murray-Wallace C.V., Morris R.H., Lachlan T.J., Roberts R.G., Arnold L.J and Cann J.H. (2009) Holocene palaeofire records in a high-level, proximal valley-fill (Wilsons Bog), Mount Lofty Ranges, South Australia. The Holocene. 19,7,1-13.

Isaac a few years later pretending to drink contaminated water. The photo was part of the presentation I gave at the Australian Fire Authority Conference.

Morris R., Calliss S. (2009) Does an emergency response protect our water reservoirs? AFAC 2009 Conference Meeting Expectations, 21-24 Sept 2009, Surfers Paradise. 595-600

It is possible to blend a family with science but it’s not easy. I can’t read, think or do statistics when the lion cubs are wrestling in the room next door. (Yes three young boys love to wrestle). Spending time on the PhD is mostly possible when the kids are either in childcare or school. Forget study after they have gone to bed I’m way too tired. My studies are taking longer than anticipated but that’s because I like being involved in school and outer school stuff. I like to go to class reading, help with the canteen and watch the cross country. I’m always researching how to run a happy healthy home with the help of other mummy and granny bloggers. We need all types of contribution to science and mothering. I plan to enjoy the PhD journey and take a little longer so I can raise three more questioning scientist. All Mums are science Mums. Cooking a cake is one of the best chemical experiments around.

This blog is in response to Introducing #scimom

Wombeyan Caves and a PhD

Our family spent a lovely weekend at Wombeyan Caves. We cheated and stayed in a dorm to avoid packing up tents in the rain.  We all adored the caves and the lively camping ground. It reminded me of why I study geomorphology. Karst rock features in the caves were so diverse and amazing. The caves were still, damp, quiet, dark and sparkly (well I imagined they were quiet if I removed our kids screams of delight). A few bats flew around the stalagmites, stalactites, helictites, flow stones and columns (cave formations- speleothem). Bushfires even got into the story due to the smoke colouring some cave features.

My good friend who came along with her hubby and gorgeous kids asked that complex question. “Should I study a PhD whilst raising young children and working?”

Hmmm what answer do I give to that…  

NO!

But then after some thought- actually a whole night’s sleep of thought my answer was a bit longer.

Of course you should study a PhD. Sometimes it’s a wonderful journey. BUT before you start on the journey I recommend reading some books and thinking really hard about WHY you want to do a PhD. It’s not easy.

The books include

Phillips and Pugh (2010) How to get a PhD: a handbook for students and their supervisors

Evans and Grant (2008) Mama, PhD: Women Write About Motherhood and Academic Life

http://www.mamaphd.com/

And the website worth reading

Becoming Dr Mum

Then after you have read all this, ask your partner if he is also ready for the ride.

Then GO FOR IT jump on that rollercoaster and enjoy the ride!

Aliens in the basement

We’ve had a wet summer and it’s brought the mould into our home. I was heading down the steps last week and was greated by an alien scene with a horrendous smell. All these cocoons were swinging from the roof threatening the release of evil creatures; actually the creatures had already been released. Honestly I have no idea what they are. They are on average 10mm in length, 3mm wide. Does anyone know what they are?

It’s likely they had been there for a while. I don’t go downstairs very often. I’m not the keenest at house cleaning so when avoidance is possible I accept it.  How else can I explore the world, raise three boys and study this never ending PhD. The smell has gone. I aired the rooms by opening the house up including all the windows, doors and garage for a few days.

If you do know what these little creatures are I’d love to know.

On My Mind: A Friday home photo initiative of Down To Earth. Rhonda’s blog is worth a follow, it’s very helpful for homemakers in training such as myself.

Easter Hats

I love the way kids happily put on a silly hat with pride. Pride that they made it and everyone is looking. Its the Aussie tradition of wearing a hat decorated for easter and parading around the school yards. My big decision now is whether to be disciplined enough to stay at home and study or whether to sneak out for a peak at the spectical. Most likely I'll do both, study all morning then take a lunch break to watch the parade, then back home again to hit the books. Have a great Easter everyone!

This photo is for On My Mind a weekly opportunity to share an image from home. Check out Down to Earth Blog.

Soccer Mum

Recently I purged my brain of the Mount Bold erosion discussion using dot points. It only took a couple of hours of rough writing but now the details are out. Sometimes it is better to just write whatever comes to mind. Soccer training on Friday was a great setting for some simple reminiscing and editing about my research.

Maybe it’s the academic Mum in me but when my little man scored the first goal of the season on Sat I failed to notice. Thanks goodness for the other Mums giving me a quick rib to cheer. Hubby was away looking at rocks in Adelaide so I was juggling three boys all having different games at different times in two different locations with only one of me and one car. I struggle a bit with cheering at soccer. If one kid gets a goal that means another kid failed to stop the goal. Should I really cheer at another person’s failure? It’s a bit like I struggle with the negativity of academic reviewers. Maybe I just need to toughen up princess.

Orange cake, a made bed and erosion papers

Its one of those day where I need to sing out aloud
" I am woman here me roar"

or maybe I should just admit to being maniac

So assuming I'm not burning the whole orange poppy seed cake whilst I list what my day entails

1) Get up 6:30am to take the dog for a walk along the beach
2) Go shopping at the local markets for our fruit and veg
3) Feed the chooks
4) Make lunches for the boys and get them on the school bus
5) Go to the school canteen to help with training new volunteers
6) Help with the awesome mango/berry smoothie day at school
7) Race home and read over my paper thats due today. Fix a few lines then email it off (Ok so once again its half baked but at least I handed over something)
8) Check the cake is not burnt, actually I had to put it back, it was not cooked! Now it won't cool in time so I'll ice it at school after the assembly.  Fundraising for school. They are holding a cake stall for the election day.

9) Clean the kitchen (failed left it for the visitors and I came home to a sparkling kitchen- nice hey)
10) Attend the canteen meeting
11) Watch the kids school assembly
12) Make veg lasagne for the family (maybe I can offload this job too)
13) Greet my inlaws (yes I also made their beds)
14) Escape to Sydney with my hubby for a whole night with no kids

Its worth cramming a week into a day

BUT "DOWN TO EARTH" Readers wait there is MORE I made my bed this morning just like Rhonda recommend and yes its LOVELY 

Change is the only constant

I am the trailing spouse able to impersonate a chameleon by altering my situation to suit our family status. Sometimes my camouflage doesn’t work too well and the walls fall down around us. Before I had children change was easy as it was only my mind I had to contend with, but after having children there are three little people and my hubby all trying to adapt as well.

When I started the PhD it was prior to the birth of our third child. I had two children so I figured the change would be fine. Four weeks after beginning the PhD I was pregnant and content. Morning sickness made writing the proposal hard but we were settled in Adelaide with no intention to move until the PhD was finished. I had chosen an intensive field based project knowing we were living near my study sites.

My proposal was finished, I had scored a wildfire to study, grants had been obtained and my thesis was cruising until the move was announced. We were relocating to Wollongong (1365km away). I loved the beach, we were moving near my family and back to the land of bubblers but it was so hard to change.

The first whack of disappointment was the altering childcare options. We were going from a preschool where it cost AUS$50 for ten weeks to AUS$36 a day or the uni day-care option at $76 a day. Not to mention I couldn’t get into the preschool for 6 months. We rented for six months in a tiny hot house with no air-conditioning. I no longer had my network of parent friends and felt rather isolated. As a remote Adelaide university student I was meant to become part of the Wollongong uni community but as room was scarce I was better off at home.

Field work was a nightmare. I had to fly interstate each time leaving my family behind. At one stage my hubby was overseas, Mum had breast cancer and my Dad came to help. I flew out at 4am in the morning, spent a day in the field, slept on my work colleagues floor then flew back early the next morning. All in the name of “science”. Needless to say the data from that day of work was lost in the land of computer crashes. I flew back many times and the tears often rolled as I saw my old life and compared it to my new home.

It’s now been nearly four years and the change has been great. I love the Gong and our lifestyle is wonderful. Mum has beaten breast cancer for the second time. The PhD is still not finished but the hurdles caused by the change are an acceptable excuse for the delay. Trouble is if I keep using change as an excuse I’ll never finish this PhD! Change is a constant that will throw hurdles and provide wonderful opportunities. I guess the trick is to take the ride, smile and have fun.     

Ambulance and the community

My poor neighbour spent the night on the floor. Its cruel getting old. He's fine. He fell over and couldn't get up. The ambulance was called to help him up this morning. As a nosey (caring) neighbour I popped in to check they were alright. I've been so busy in my own world I have not been over since Christmas. Whats happening to our community. Am I too focussed on my life including the family and PhD that I don't have time for nearby humans. The vege patch we tend to at their house is full of long grass. Its time to garden and care the for neighbours again. Its also time to stick the head back into the books.

International Women’s Day 100 Years (8 March)

Do you realise on 8 March International Women’s Day reaches a centenary (1911-2011). Wow hey. Huge changes have occurred in that time and yet there are still many more to be made. It is so worth celebrating the success. Check out this web site to see what’s happening in your country

http://www.internationalwomensday.com/default.asp

I like some of the recent thinking that if we are going to make changes for the women then we need to make changes for the men.

This blog site is largely devoted to the juggle of raising kids whilst studying a PhD as a Mum. It would be not be possible without the support of my hubby but it would be so much easier if society allowed us to share the load equally. For an academic man to share care raising children his career would halt just like with Mums but worse. If the long hours and total commitment to work were altered to incorporate not only the caring of children but also frail relatives and community volunteer-work we would be such a better place to live in Oz.

Rather than prattle and rattle I’m going to list. I’m going to list all the inspirational moments that inspired me to try the juggle of raising a family whilst working. I’m also going to list the hardships I’ve endured that may have been preventable…

Inspiration

·         My male boss (District Manager in National Parks) who took one day off each week to care for his elderly father. He also welcomed a family environment at work.

·         My boss who gave up her office so I could have somewhere to express milk at lunch

·         My work colleague who asked if she could express milk in the lunch room of a manly male dominated workforce (I was appalled that she would bare her breasts at work and I was too young to realise how silly I was)

·         Work colleagues who worked part-time to care for their children. I knew it was possible

·         Maternity leave

·         Family benefit payments

·         Other Mums who have completed PhDs

·         The opportunity to study part-time whilst receiving an APA under special circumstances. Is a pre-schooler really a special circumstance or just a normal part of life???

·         Reading the book Mamma PhD

·         Reading the book How a pressure cooker saved my life

·         When I told the head of school I wanted to studying a PhD and have a baby in the first year she politely picked her jaw off the table, acknowledged I already had two kids so I knew what I was doing and offered to fund a laptop computer to make it possible

·         Mum- who worked her career to always care for my brothers and I. She followed her hubby but managed to find jobs that used her education. She was there during school holidays but a role model who could teach me about biology. I tried so hard to not be a scientist like my Mum. So why am I studying a PhD in Science?

·         Dad who can cook, clean and look after his grandchildren in-between flying to interstate meetings.

     

Hurdles

·         Being told I could not go part-time when I returned from maternity leave. I knew legally I could but I had lost the will to fight.

·         Travelling in a truck whilst my male work colleagues looked at porno magazines

·         Expressing milk in the toilets at Wollongong when I was on a workshop then tipping it down the sink. They could provide better facilities for milking Mums

·         Being denied a top-up scholarship from the CRC due to being part-time

·         Having library rights removed when I take leave to look after my kids during school holidays

·         Cost of childcare. In Adelaide preschool cost me Aus$50 per 10 weeks. In NSW it cost me Aus$36 per day.  

·         Having to arrange complicated care arrangements for my children any time I wanted to do field work or attend conferences

·         Being the primary carer when the kids were sick. So many days of study and work had to be missed

·         Keeping the sanity when a PhD takes forever due to studying part-time

·         Being asked how long I would be on maternity leave before being sent the letter of offer for employment

·         Field work when breastfeeding. Forget it!

·         Field work whilst menstruating

·         I don’t want to leave my kids to travel overseas to attend international conferences. I’d miss them too much but I can’t afford to take them and someone to care for them

·         Mother guilt

My hurdles have been nothing compared to the plight of many women over the years. May the next 100 years improve the lives and equality for women and families around the world…

Back to the books

Holiday is over. Tomorrow I'm signing up as a full-time student. No more part-time as the kids are all in school. Of course my first day back will involve one kid still being at home due to some ongoing medical stuff. But hey I'll use the day to get organised, dust my office, fill in the never ending paperwork and find those books.

2011 this is the year to finish.

Must focus on the Mummy mantra

Family, self-care, thesis, friends

Source: Jorge Cham (2010) PhD Comics

I'm so looking forward to completing this PhD. Shame there is buckets of work to do.

Source: Nataliedee (2009) Sharing Machine

Time to focus on the little buckets which when combined will eventually create the big almighty PhD bucket...